Blog
The quiet workof becoming.
Thoughts on goal setting, habit building, and the quiet work of becoming who you want to be.
July 26, 2025
·9 min read
Shared Goals: Why You Try Harder Without Any Contact
Knowing similar others share your goal makes you push harder, even with no contact. What the research found, and how it differs from accountability.
Simply knowing that similar others share your goal intensifies goal-directed behavior - without any communication
July 19, 2025
·9 min read
Defensive Pessimism: Why Expecting the Worst Can Work
Defensive pessimists set low expectations on purpose and perform as well as optimists. Here's why forced positive thinking backfires for some people.
Defensive pessimists had significantly higher anxiety but no significant performance difference compared to optimists
July 12, 2025
·10 min read
Why Talking to Yourself in Third Person Actually Works
Third person self-talk, using your name instead of 'I', lowers emotional reactivity without extra mental effort. Here is the research and how to use it.
Talking to yourself by name instead of 'I' led to better performance under social stress - with less distress getting there
July 5, 2025
·9 min read
Your Future Self Is a Stranger - And That's Why You Quit
Feeling disconnected from your future self is like making decisions for a stranger. Here's the research on why that gap exists and how to close it.
Participants who saw their aged avatar allocated roughly 40% more of their pay to retirement
June 21, 2025
·10 min read
How to Actually Change Your Life (According to Research)
How to change your life with four levers from behavioral science: identity, environment, one small habit, and people who ask how it's going.
Lasting change uses four levers: identity, environment, habits, and people. Most advice only touches one.
June 14, 2025
·10 min read
How to Stop Being Lazy
Feeling lazy is usually a symptom of one of four causes: avoided feelings, vague goals, too many options, or a goal that isn't yours. Each has a fix.
Laziness is almost never the real problem - it's a symptom with four common causes, each with a different fix
June 7, 2025
·10 min read
Phone Distraction: Why a Silent Phone Still Drains Focus
A phone on your desk can pull at your focus, even face down and silent. What the brain drain research found, and why distance beats willpower.
Your phone reduces your brainpower just by sitting on the desk - even when you're not using it
May 31, 2025
·10 min read
Do Vision Boards Work? What the Research Found
Picturing the dream on its own can drain the energy to chase it. Here is what the research found, and how to make a vision board work.
Positive fantasies about the future actually reduce the energy needed to pursue goals
May 24, 2025
·10 min read
How to Be Consistent (When You've Never Been)
How to be consistent when you never have been: decide once with if-then plans, cut the friction, and let someone see it. A missed day doesn't reset you.
Consistency isn't willpower. It's reducing the decision cost of each repetition to near zero.
May 17, 2025
·10 min read
Discipline vs Motivation: Why One Fades and One Lasts
Motivation gets you started; it won't keep you going. Here's what research says about discipline - and why it's a design problem, not a character trait.
Grit predicted success over and beyond IQ - across six studies and 5,000+ participants